Being honest when you're scared
We all have bad habits when it comes to communicating. Even those of us who have worked hard on having good habits can mess up.
This week I took a moment to give myself credit for catching bad habits and replacing them with a stronger way to communicate.
Sometimes when fear sets in whether it's stemming from ego or a personal catalyst, I lash out in anger. This never works in my favor. Saying something hurtful, untrue, or just coming from a place of anger only puts the other person in a place of defense and no one is going to walk away feeling good.
This past year I worked on recognizing those catalysts or stimuli that elicit these fearful and angry responses. This way I can check in with myself and ask, "okay, why are you angry or scared right?". Then from there, I can decide how to move forward.
So that happened and my answer was I'm feeling scared and vulnerable. Well okay cool, now comes the hard part because sharing that with others ups the stakes of that fear and vulnerability. What if they don't respond well? What if they come back from a place of anger? What if? What if?
It's scary being honest, raw, and vulnerable.
I took the plunge and shared why I was feeling the way I was and the response was positive. We were able to discuss what if anything we could do about that and devised solutions. Wow! I communicated like a real adult! HA HA HA HA!
So let's be honest, share what's going on and how it's interfering with our relationship(s). Even if it is scary!