Let's Talk About the Hard Things
The world is hard right now and my reaction has been not to create and instead I find myself doing things that let me mindlessly get through my day. Writing about anything has been feeling silly and trite.
While I’ve been essentially doing this “social distancing” thing since my injury it’s very different when the whole world is on it. That’s because this isn’t really a time to just sit back and relax. Even though we’ve been a homeschooling family for over 10 years this is very different. All of this is different.
There are positives emerging on both macro and micro levels and we should celebrate those moments. We can do that and still recognize how difficult all of this is for everyone.
Our house has teens that struggle with anxiety and depression. We talk about it openly and in these uncertain times it’s essential we keep these lines of communication open. A conversation recently included how one of the kid's anxiety has significantly increased and it is manifesting with scary thoughts and anxiety attacks.
A knee jerk reaction is to say “well, there are others who have it much worse right now”.
While that is true and it’s good to reflect and be grateful for what we do have it doesn’t make the experience less valid with what a person is feeling. Thoughts and feelings deserve validation and people just want to be heard. It can help alleviate anxiety with a simple acknowledgment of one’s feelings.
As a parent, I don’t enjoy hearing my child is in pain. My instinct is to fix it but this isn’t something I can fix. This is something we are all enduring together. Plus by running to fix it or telling them not to worry, I’m not letting them develop their own set of coping mechanisms that will help them over the course of their lives. So I push through and listen to their pain.
I see it on social media with adults who don’t have the skill sets to handle what’s going on. Somewhere along the way, they were never given an opportunity to learn how to manage their feelings. The good news is that it’s never too late. I also understand that for some they have a strong set of coping skills but this is such a big stressor that none of those skills are working. It’s frustrating and can leave you feeling overwhelmed. To all of us, I’m sorry that we have to endure this and we all deserve peace and comfort to help guide us through our days.
I don’t see the days getting easier anytime soon and I suspect the conversations are going to get tougher. Let’s keep talking about the hard things!