Whenever there are big changes happening around me I tend to compartmentalize and land up disconnecting from those around me.
It's not intentional and it's a mechanism that became a habit and it never puts me in a good position. I'll put distance between me and those who care the most. My ego will tell you it's a buffer zone of safety.
That isn't safety it's fear. Fear trying to "protect" me when really what it does is stop me from being vulnerable. Vulnerability takes courage and there is risk so the fear and troll voice try to prevent me from being in the position where I remain connected. Where I remain in the light. Where I can lead with love.
I know growth is essential. I know I made the right choice. I also know that behind the scenes it's a very big shift for me. I am completely exposed and I need to continue to maintain my connection to those around me.
There are small things that I do to keep myself connected. From a simple touch on the shoulder to my friends when I'm talking to them, a quick text with a silly meme, making sure to use direct eye contact when I'd rather look at the floor. The small things to remind me to strive for connection.
There are bigger things too. Pushing myself to meet with other people just for "friend" time. Checking in and seeing what is going on in their world. Putting myself out into the world.
All of this forces me to stay present, grounded, and connected. It doesn't give space to the fear that wants to spin a different narrative for me. It helps me stay with gratitude and lead with love.
So it's been a big week and I'm catching my bad habits before they begin. It isn't always easy but I'm doing my best and my best is good enough. It's not the change that is difficult to manage it is the transition. I know myself well enough to know that during transitions I need to slow down and continue to strive for connection.
Comments