I've been reading the book, May Cause Miracles, by Gabrielle Bernstein. I'm finding it a wonderful experience and have connected to it in many ways. The most recent way has to do with her section on relationships. From romantic to the workplace she is putting into words something I have felt deeply for a long time.
The belief that ONE person is your sole source of inspiration, bliss, and excitement is not only unrealistic but unfair to your romantic partner. To put all of those expectations on the shoulders of one person is a lot. She isn't saying don't fall in love, don't be best friends with your partner, and such. She does, however, encourage you to forge connections and look to friendships to enrich your life and provide you with other sources of happiness. When you let go of requiring one person to be your sole source of happiness you find yourself more confident, happier, and even more in love.
After nearly 20 years of marriage, we are stronger than ever. As I reflect on the why of that, one reason is that neither one of us relies solely on the other to meet our needs. We grow and learn through varying interests, we connect to other people in different ways and the result is a stronger connection than when we were young and carefree (meaning no kids, ha ha ha!).
I really have felt this lately as I watch people I care about go through varying transitions in their own lives. Some are finding new relationships, others are closing the door on old ones. As I observe the spirit and human condition, I am reminded how important it is to take time to honor my friends as companions and sparks of light and inspiration.
I started referring to time spent with friends as "friend dates". I am making more time to go on these "friend dates". You can spend a lot of time with people and never actually connect to them. I am working on carving out meaningful time and opening myself up to the power of friendship.
I will leave you with this quote from Bernstein, "Set yourself free from the false perception that one special person will save you. Create more oneness by igniting fiery sparks in all your relationships".