I internalize like a MoFo! Somewhere along the way I built that habit. If something is going great, I internalize. If something is going not so great, I internalize harder. It's a terrible habit to have.
I'm working on it. Day by day, step by step it's getting better. Recently, I have had to really make some big boss decisions. It's put me in all kinds of internalize mode. Things like, this must be a result of my lack of leadership, geez, I really know how to let people down, sheesh, I'm just mean.
None of that is true!
Here is what is true. I treat my theater professionally. I expect my performers to behave professionally. Therefore, standards are in place. I am super clear about this standards and expectations. What is in place is in line with most professional theaters across the country.
I also set a very high bar for myself. Now that is a personal part of my artistry. In order to maintain my own standards, I have my own process. I don't expect others to mimic this process. I strive to inspire instead.
However, recently, I have been second guessing myself. Reflecting on if the current standards and expectations are too much, could I do some things personally to adjust and support more as a leader? The answer is NO!
Loud and clear in my soul, intuition yelling at me HELL to the NO!
It's a big reminder to myself that having standards and expectations, treating people as professionals, and striving for greatness are not things to shy away from. I have no reason to be embarrassed or feel shame that some people might struggle or disagree with the approach. That's what I love about AdLib so much. We have a singular and strong focus. It is not for everyone. We shouldn't be for everyone. The best products, businesses, experiences, are not tailored for the general public. That approach just leads to mediocrity.
BEING AVERAGE SCARES THE HELL OUT OF ME!
So I'm taking my note, keep my standards high. When times are tough, instead I'll just work even harder!